So this weekend, I was wearing either my clown pants or a tie-dyed hippy dress, and was mostly barefoot. I did exfoliate my face yesterday morning, and my toenails accidentally look pretty good, but the rest of me is a cesspool.
Arrgghh. Is this what you came here for? Really?
People, we can do better than this kind of reportage! That stuff may be what we're doing, but it isn't -- or it shouldn't be -- what we're about.
I think we are about the rough heels we don't show you through our peep-toed shoes. We are definitely about the eye bags most of us are sporting from staying up way too late in front of a glowing monitor. We are about badly-managed tomato plants, and water skiing injuries, and church choir solos. We are about hangnails and perfectly-baked salmon and telling dirty jokes with our elderly aunties.
And, in light of all of that, I am showing you the shoes that people have sent me. These are the shoes people wore this weekend, while socializing, cleaning house, playing with the kids, blogging, and, in the case of Bejewell of The Bean, working the corner near Circus Circus in Las Vegas.
I do worry about that girl, sometimes.
Anyway, BlogHus is a loose confederation of people who want to be real, even if, in my case, that means being real annoying, a lot. And yes, I know that wasn't a proper adverb. See the previous sentence. So here are the shoes of a few of those
REAL
FUNNY
PEOPLE
who all happen to be bloggers (who also all happen to be women, because Jason and David and Chris and Jeff and Rick's Cafe didn't send me any pictures of their footwear).
Cactus Petunia of Buenos Burritos said, "I think they go with just about all my outfits. And if I should accidentally step in something (like bean dip) at the un-convention I can just hose 'em off." Something like bean dip. I have no doubt that something resembling bean dip could be found on the floor of any convention I might be allowed to attend.
From Drama Pond -- "I'm ready for the BLOGHUS convention! I'm comin as is!" Do we need to worry? Is there the proper muu muu or house coat above those ankles?
TJ at Humble Origins -- "I thought I'd show you the shoes I was sportin' today as I was cleanin' out the chicken house. And the more I got to thinkin' about it these shoes here would probably be more appropriate as I'm sure it would get pretty deep if we were all to get together!" Truer words were never typed, Miss TJ.
Deb at Gittin' It Outta My Head! -- "Note to self: Do not wear these while walking in heavy shell zone. Could be hazardous!" We have so few shells lying around here at the (current, temporary, imaginary) BlogHus Headquarters that that is not a consideration at this time. Cow pies, now THAT'S a problem.
Wreke Havoc told me -- "I was looking for shoes in all the wrong places when I went out and purchased a pair of Crocs for my son that will probably be better than anything in my closet . . . but these shoes are just too bitchin not to share." Can you send more photos of your granite counters, Wreke? I'm starting to drool.
Meg at SOUP Is Not a Finger Food was succinct: "AAAARRRRR!" Says it all. Oh, and she very kindly sent me the silver shoes at the top of this post, which were actually named "Hussy Shoes." I'm not lying. I saw the Amazon page. And now Amazon will put them in my "Since You Look At Hussy Shoes, You Really Ought To Check Out This Other Skanky Stuff, You Slut You" file.
Sarah at OK, Where Was I? staged this photo, just for us. I have taken the liberty of pointing out with arrows the things she detailed in her e-mail: "Just like how Paris Hilton walks the red carpet with her dog and some atrocious bag, I've got my two accessories. And yes, they are two different shoes. I can only find one of my 'special' going out flip flops with beading, so I'll have to wear one of my everyday flip flops. And since they're different thicknesses, I'll be the one walking around with what looks like hip displacement. In case I was unrecognizable with the black lab and bare-butted two year old." I did the hat.
Chesapeake Bay Woman at Life in Mathews was wearing one of these on her head the first time ever I saw her face. Hey, there's a song about that. She said, "The last time I was at Nordstrom, which was NEVER, I picked up a pair of these. I paid extra for the lazy eye on the left. I plan on wearing these proudly to any BlogHus function."
Last but not beast, Big Hair Envy sent me a photo of a her goat. There's an inside joke there, but explaining it would only kill it. And my credibility. And the goat. But that's okay, because at BlogHus, WE LIKE GOATS. As long as they don't stand on our cars.
EDIT: Sorry about the photos not coming through for something like FOUR HOURS. I had to make dinner, make up beds, and go visit a brand new baby. You know, the good stuff. Finally finished (I hope)!
Thanks for playing along, everyone! I hope I didn't miss any shoe photos; I tried to stay on top of it. Thanks for indulging me my excesses, for not throwing rocks, for making it all the way to the end of this post which took me THREE WHOLE DAYS of procrastination to write, and for writing with integrity about things -- both funny and serious, silly and important -- more compelling than shoes. Squeeeeeeeee.



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