(Photo stolen from this site)
"I saw the weirdest thing EVER today," Chas told me after the kids had left the kitchen, his voice conspiratorial.
"What?"
"Roosevelt was humping Greenie."
Let's stop here for a minute. Roosevelt and Greenie are stray cats who live on our patio -- two of many -- and they are about two weeks shy of a year old. Greenie is a gray female who is grossly pregnant; we didn't get her to the vet in time but she's going to get fixed just as soon as she's done nursing the 150 kittens she's obviously housing.
Roosevelt and Greenie are siblings. Ewwwwwww. That headline might read
Incestuous Feline Maternity Bang
Moving on . . .
"But you'll never guess how they were doing it!" Chas continued. "Missionary style, Greenie on her back on the concrete!"
Incestuous Feline Maternity Missionary Bang
"No way!" I said. I'm cool like that, and articulate in a crisis and all. "No way!"
"Way," said Chas. (I have that effect on him.) "But wait; there's more!" There always is. "Ralph got into the game!"
"No way!" I conjectured, so proud of my college degree. "No way!"
Ralph is a ginger tabby, the same age as the kitty porn stars, the son
of their grandmother. Uncle Ralph. "What did Ralph do?" I asked, not actually wanting to know.
"He stood next to Roosevelt during the act and draped his front leg over Roosevelt's shoulder!"
"Like drunken frat boys in party mode!" I offered, pleased to be able to offer something lurid.
Incestuous Feline Maternity Missionary Threesome
Somehow I don't expect I Can Has Cheezburger? to respond. I do expect Maury Povich to
call any minute, however.
Oohhh, yeah.... ICHC has heard it.... and it'll be spread, don't you worry. ;)
(--Elfinugget)
:D
Posted by: Elfinugget | April 10, 2009 at 03:57 PM
That was too funny!
Posted by: annbb | April 03, 2009 at 09:04 AM
Sounds like a new show for Animal Planet!
Posted by: Cactus Petunia | April 02, 2009 at 11:45 PM
I can't wait to see the suspenseful pause before the true daddy of the kittens is revealed on Maury.
Posted by: Kathi D | April 02, 2009 at 02:13 PM
Yeah please if you can do it block the octomom from reading this thing. Ever. I wouldn't want THAT picture rattling around my mind.
Trying to get out, I'd hope.
Posted by: Bob Cleveland | April 02, 2009 at 11:16 AM
I'm reminded of a cat owned by a friend back in the 80s. He had a boyfriend. No I'm not kidding.
Posted by: Martha | April 02, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Well you've personally proven one thing to me, at least. That I can read an entire blog whilst biting my lower lip.
Twice.
And you brought that tender memory of the time Peg and I were snuggling on the couch watching TV and our miniature wirehaired dachshund named Purdue was running laps carrying this little stuffed dog he apparently kidnapped from the kids' bedroom on the big loop thru the den to the kitchen to the dining room to the living room to the entry back thru the living room. And seeing us snuggling there he apparently took a hint so to speak, dropped the stuffed doggy, and hopped on. It kind of changed the shall we say demeanor of the moment and people forever after wondered why we had this stuffed dog on the mantle in the den....
Posted by: Bob Cleveland | April 02, 2009 at 05:34 AM
You know, I would expect nothing less of your cats;)
Posted by: Mental P Mama | April 02, 2009 at 05:30 AM
Finally, a story to distract the public from Octomom (because that kind of behavior should NOT be rewarded) - one-hundeed-fifty babies AND a threesome? The press will be all over that!
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Posted by: Kyddryn | April 02, 2009 at 05:29 AM
Meowry Povich might respond. Also perhaps Dr. Philine should be consulted. Actually I think you should call the claw, I mean the law.
Cuz if that cat has 150 babies there's no way she did this willingly, unless she's just doing it for the money and publicity.
Posted by: Chesapeake Bay Woman | April 02, 2009 at 03:31 AM